I don’t come back when I’m thrown

by Valli

My eyes are burning, but not burning, burning, but just like they were never supposed to be open this long and they’re tired.

Yes, I’m still tired. I get to go home in twenty minutes, thank god. I’m going to have dinner, watch the final episode of Sex and the City and then go to sleep. Or at least try to sleep. The thing I hate about sleep is that it brings you to the next day faster. I’m already not in the mood to come back here.

At least I know that what I feel isn’t wrong. The feeling that this job is not for me, that I can’t stay in this kind of job for the rest of my life. I’ve felt this way for soooooo long. Just read all my damn journal entries.

Funny. I just realized that I have this weird need with potential friends or romantic relationships. I’d rather not date or hang out with someone who doesn’t have the same general opinion of some key topics, issues, genres, people or feelings. I mean last night on the way home Elise was talking about how she hates/hated Nirvana. I can’t fathom that. I wasn’t the biggest Nirvana fan in the world, but I did cry when Kurt Cobain died. So I was just like thinking to myself “what the??” when she was talking about how she didn’t like his “whiny” songs, even though she likes the “whiny” songs of bands like Simple Plan. Simple Plan is gay. That guys voice is enough to make ME want to kill myself.

Anyway so I was just thinking about all of that and then I was wondering if maybe holding that against her was wrong but I realize it’s not, because that’s just who I am. I’m not going to not ever hang out with her ever again, it’s just gives me a HUGE insight into who she is and where her head is at. There are things that you notice when you first meet someone and you hang with them for like two or three hours and then those things you were a little wary of for those two or three hours get magnified when you’re around them for over 10 hours, and the only thing you want to do is bash their head in when they start saying more and more annoying things, like how Kurt Cobain is whiny.. what the ??

Anyway, not just with her but in general I realize that that’s what I’m always doing in my head, it’s like if someone can’t grasp how insanely good Cameron Crowe or Kevin Smith movies are I can’t deal with them. It’s just not going to work. 🙂 Which isn’t to say that ALL of their movies are great, but if they can get the jist of how cool they are then ya know that’s cool. Put it this way, I seriously doubt I’ll ever marry a guy who doesn’t love Singles or Chasing Amy, it’s just not going to happen.