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I have this book called “Conquering Your Quarterlife Crisis”. It’s a really great book. I’d highly recommend it to anyone in their 20′s or 30′s, even if you think you’ve got everything figured out, it’ll still be helpful. I’ve only read like the first chapter and it’s already inspired me and made me feel better about all of the feelings that I’ve been having (more violently) lately. However, I can’t seem to get into reading it right now. I’m tired. Brian can’t, or well said that he didn’t think he would be able to call me tonight ’cause his furniture was arriving at 8pm, and he didn’t know how long it take to get everything inside and he’d probably be tired. So whateva.

I haven’t talked to him over the phone in two days. This is by no means a big deal, unless something comes up for why he can’t talk to me tomorrow night, then I’ll be irked. I’m not emailing him at all tomorrow. I seriously don’t want him to disappoint me in all of this ultimately. I just want him to live up to everything that he’s said, especially his whole honesty dealy. Tomorrow I get my hair done finally. I can’t wait to feel “normal” again. Annd I’ll be able to have Jamie take pictures of me when we’re at the Ren Fair! yay! I need to take a bunch of photos just in general to use all this film that I have. Although it’s really not that urgent. I can take pics at the FT show, if I do decide to go. I dunno. Ugh. I still have to get another band to do the acoustic show. I should check out that band JT suggested. Out of the group I have I have no idea who should be the headliner. I reeeally need to get crackin on that, but shock, surprise, I’m not that motivated. I’m so over doing shows this way, it’s just not right. I should of asked FT BEFORE I set up the show. No use crying over spilled milk?

I have a “review” with my soon to be ex-boss, which I find strange. But I guess everybody is getting them done right now. I’m not looking forward to it at all. I can just hear her saying “be helpful” or something stupid like that. I seriously don’t want to hear it, I don’t want to be judged or reviewed on a job that I don’t really even want to do anymore. Or have to fake it like I actually care, like I actually want to stay with this company. If someone told me they’d give me $25,000 tomorrow(after taxes of course), I’d quit my job in a heartbeat, if that long.

It’s just so weird how all of a sudden my job turned from being crappy but doable, to just totally intolerable. I can’t even get into doing the mundane, mind numbing stuff the same way I used to. It just sucks. I think it’s a combination of a lot of things, like I’ve had a general dislike for the job the whole time, just because it’s a job and not what I want ultimately. And then when Wendy left and Kimmie Gibler came in that totally changed the dynamic of the office, she’s so irritating, and then my surgery, and their reactions to it all. It’s all made me super frustrated. It’s like things keep getting added to the frustration list and nothing is getting subtracted.