Excerpt of lyrics from ‘gotta get up from here’ by ellie lawson:

Today and I’m taking control again
Patch on my arm in the bright sunlight
There’s no way that I’m gonna go under now
Plenty of ways to make a wrong right
No more negative thinking around me
I don’t wanna live my life that way
There’s too many good people to compensate
All the energy lost
All my energy

Wow.

It’s been such a long time since I’ve written in this thing. I really want to but at the same time I have this weird feeling like I don’t. Like it would be bad, like I’d be going backwards. Maybe it’s just because I’m at home writing this. I get so much more joy out of my blog entries when I write them at work. I wonder why that is.

I think I’ll write more here tomorrow (at work) after I’ve had a chance to re-read some of my previous entries.

’nuff said.

And one more thing… I needed to read this today, it’s from Stephen Christian’s blog (lead singer of Anberlin):

Minnesota, looking forward to a train station. had a great talk tonight with my friend aaron. the peace that that man has obtained is incredible. how honest. love emanates from his being, i think he is the closest to meeting the persona of mohat Gandhi that i will ever come. why do we work so hard to gain the attention of the opposite sex. ruth! listen to me, if you really want to attract those of the opposite sex know yourself, know what makes you operate, be passionate about something. passion is contagious, embrace life, stop looking for mr. right and become mrs. right. the time, the place, …fate itself comes together on its own accord and does not hurry any faster because of a nice outfit, a flirtatious smile, or cosmetics. be who you are and in that attraction lies. why work so hard to become what other desire, because that only leaves you desperate, wanting, and lacking of any true happiness. stop looking to others to measure your own standards or beauty, realize that you are beautiful just the way you are, and honestly how important are looks over years. eyes will dull, builds will collapse, what you think makes you better inevitably decomposes. its the matter of the heart, and the peace that passes all understanding that will hold you late at night and be the attraction for those who themselves are not looking into a magazine or a video music station to match beauty or intellect. realize that all that the media portrays is pseudo. it is not real, life is more than crest white strips and prada shoes. life is more than a degree from harvard, life is more than achievements and shiny trophy’s upon the mantle. life is not a fleeting attempt to pat yourself on the back, or see how many others you can manipulate to pat you on the back. there is more to life than what your two eyes can see, or your two hands can touch.

I am eternally Mary Katherine Gallagher, for better or worse.

The movie “Superstar” starring Molly Shannon as MKG is on this morning and I can’t help but notice the similarities between me and Mary Katherine.

While I don’t wear a Catholic school uniform or keep my hands under my armpits when I’m nervous, I do have an incredibly vivid imagination and delusions of grandeur and I wear glasses.

I’ve long thought that perhaps I am an aquired taste and that makes it harder for me to find a guy that’s right for me.

I’m nice, smart and yes, I’m stubborn, but does that mean that I’m undatable?? UGH! And by the way, no it doesn’t.

This brings up another topic. Negativity. I’m only allowing myself to think positively and be surrounded by those that do the same. I will be realistic, but at the same time I’m not going to allow myself to get bogged down in crappy thoughts.

I am worthy, I’m not a bad person. Thank you.

Guess what, today was Valentine’s Day. Just in case you hadn’t heard. For some reason it seems like this year there was more Valentine crap on TV and in the papers. Or maybe that’s just because I’ve been paying more attention?

I dunno. At work I put up my usual decorations. I meant to take pictures but my camera needs batteries. Maybe I’ll take pictures on Friday before I take it all down.

Ya know what’s really bad? I want to go to sleep right now, and it’s only 9 o-clock! Although I really don’t know what I’d need to stay up for, it is just me here afterall. I can catch up on all my Tivo stuff over the weekend.

Let’s see, is there anything new to report? Not really. I encourage everyone in general to read my motor sports blog. http://www.valliparking.com/blog

I updated it twice today!

Things that I’m obsessed with right now:

– Keith Urban (hottie country singer married to Nicole Kidman, just got out of rehab and I looove his music)

– Blake Shelton (hottie country singer who for all I know is single, he’s a judge on Nashville Star and he’s funny too)

– Tylenol PM (can’t go to sleep, take a couple of these and you’re good to go)

– Babies! (they’re everywhere, a co-worker’s fiancee gave birth on Monday and the kid is so cute, I want one!, but I don’t, but I do, but I don’t)