anything, anything

by Valli

“He’s the perfect wrong guy to have a baby with.”

This is a thought that occurs to me about a certain guy that I’ve known for years.

I’m 26, single and dying to have a baby. I’m a rational person, I know that being single and having a baby isn’t a smart thing to do. And being that I grew up never having a father in my life I know that I don’t want that for my kid. I want to be married with the intention that my husband and I will be together for the long haul.

However, when I think about this guy all of my senses go out the window. He’s my adult crush. I had my high school crush, dreamboat guy that I have exhausted all fantasies about, but this guy is someone that will linger in my thoughts until I’m married off to some great guy.

I’ll call him Jake. Jake is an artist; he’s so fucking talented it makes me sick. He’s also incredibly hot. I mean he’s a super cute guy. But because he is an artist he has his tragic side. Of course I want to be the one that “saves” him and makes him want to be the best, stable guy he can be. And I want to be the one that has his love child.

Seriously if I could only have sex with him once I’d be happy and if that sex resulted in a kid I’d be ecstatic. It’s totally insane and I’m probably ok with these thoughts because I know that the chance of all of this happening is pretty slim.