Guess what, today was Valentine’s Day. Just in case you hadn’t heard. For some reason it seems like this year there was more Valentine crap on TV and in the papers. Or maybe that’s just because I’ve been paying more attention?

I dunno. At work I put up my usual decorations. I meant to take pictures but my camera needs batteries. Maybe I’ll take pictures on Friday before I take it all down.

Ya know what’s really bad? I want to go to sleep right now, and it’s only 9 o-clock! Although I really don’t know what I’d need to stay up for, it is just me here afterall. I can catch up on all my Tivo stuff over the weekend.

Let’s see, is there anything new to report? Not really. I encourage everyone in general to read my motor sports blog. http://www.valliparking.com/blog

I updated it twice today!

Things that I’m obsessed with right now:

– Keith Urban (hottie country singer married to Nicole Kidman, just got out of rehab and I looove his music)

– Blake Shelton (hottie country singer who for all I know is single, he’s a judge on Nashville Star and he’s funny too)

– Tylenol PM (can’t go to sleep, take a couple of these and you’re good to go)

– Babies! (they’re everywhere, a co-worker’s fiancee gave birth on Monday and the kid is so cute, I want one!, but I don’t, but I do, but I don’t)

ahem.

Tommy Lee is like 44 years old (dayam!) and I still find him hot. I have no idea why. He never looks completely clean to me. I think it’s all those tattoos. But regardless of all that I still want to jump his bones and have ten thousand of his babies.

Once you get past the whole sex tape with Pam and his infamous schlong, he seems like a pretty nice, amiable guy. He seems like he’s finally grown up. He loves his kids to death and according to him he’s the more strict parent.

So, whatever, I think he’s cute. Especially during that one moment on Rockstar: Supernova when he was talking to Storm Large and he said he wanted to see more. of her. She said “Tommy” and then he said “What-y”… Yes, I’m a freak, but I thought he was so adorable when he said “What-y”

Yea, yea, yea… I need to get laid. haha…

I asked the Oracle book one of it’s many questions. “What does my future husband look like?” It said, for the second straight time, “He is older than you and perhaps too good looking for his own good”

Ok, so I ask… Where the fuck are you older, too good looking guy?!?!?! I jest, I kid, I kid… but seriously. I kinda think I’ve already met him. Or maybe not I dunno. That would be nice ’cause then I could just go up to him and be like “look, the oracle said that you’re the dude, so let’s get on with it” ha..

Yes, people I want to get married, this isn’t a secret. I want the whole shebang, the wedding, the honeymoon, the house, the kids, the husband, the wrap-around porch, the dogs, the carpools, pta meetings, mommy & me classes, birthday parties, dinner parties, family vacations, (can’t do mini-vans, i’m allergic), little league, changing diapers, getting no sleep at all…

I’m tired. I’m mentally and physically tired today. Today I had a meeting scheduled with a staffing agency in San Francisco. I hate going into the city, especially that part of the city. The financial district is just too crowded and crazy for me. I couldn’t make up my mind about whether or not I should go to the damn interview. It’s never taken me that long to make up my mind about something like that.

*happy scream* I got a call/email from a potential employer for a telephone interview. I am sooooo stoked right now. I am so excited. It’s a great job too. Hopefully I’ll land a face to face interview, that is my current top priority.

I keep staring at the flowers that I bought. They’re beautiful and I don’t want them to die.

I’ve been alone that past couple of days. It feels wrong and right all at the same time.

Tomorrow has come all too fast for me. Another interview in the morning, another interview for something that is no where near what I want.

There is pain here. There is pain here and I don’t know when it’s ever going to go away.

I could reach out to him but would he be able to recognize that?

I would love to tell him that I understand and that he’ll make it through all of this, that there is so much more than what he’s going through right now.

His addiction is his pain relief but it relieves nothing, it only creates more pain.

I don’t know him and I don’t know him and I probably never will.

He knows that I’m alive but he just doesn’t care. I don’t hate him for that, I just wish it wasn’t true.

Yesterday I went straight to the mall after work. I went to LB and got a bunch of stuff, including jeans in a size smaller than I’ve got now. Then I went to Torrid and got two great tops, plus this ring thats basically like fake diamonds but it’s got a ton of ‘em and it’s super sparkly, on a semi thick silver band. I think I might wear it tonight.

Tonight is the FT, DS show at ImusicASS. Originally I was thinking of going all out for it by wearing heels, getting my makeup done, plus a pedicure & manicure, but that’s all been scrapped. At this point I might wear the heels. I can always slap on some mascara.

There is a possible new twist/wrinkle to this show tonight. There’s this guy, Jon. I talked to him for the first time last night. On Thursday when we were emailing I said that I didn’t know when I was going to get out of work on Friday, but that I would call him. So of course yesterday I went shopping after work and I didn’t get home until 8. I called him, but he didn’t answer so I left a message. He called me back pretty soon after that, but he was painting a room in his brothers house so we couldn’t talk for an extended period of time. So at one point I thought he was going to give the whole “i’m too busy” excuse, but he came through. See.. he just moved up here from San Diego and he’s staying at his brothers new house, until he gets his jobs & own place worked out. Anyway, his brother has a fiancee and they’re both out on business trips right now, so as a housewarming present basically he said he’d paint some of the rooms in the house or something, but the brother is coming back today and they’re supposed to do one together. Anyway, they’re having a housewarming/engagement party at the house next weekend, and he’s got interviews and work and stuff all throughout the week, and so things won’t really calm down for him until after the engagement party. So as he’s saying this I’m thinking “oh damn, here it comes, the “i’m busy” crap”.. but he didn’t do that, he asked if I was going to be in the city (San Francisco, where he lives) and I was like no, but I’m going to a show in Berkeley/Oakland. So he’s like, oh that’d be cool to go to and how he would call me tomorrow (today) to let me know if he’d really be able to make it. And he asked me to send him the address of imusicASS and the show info. So I did and I’m excited. I hope he can make it and I hope that I like him and he likes me. That’s all I want right now. Ooh, I should use the fortune cards.

And now with Jon possibly being at the show it makes my decision on what to wear that much more important. Although not really ’cause I was planning on trying to look as good as possible anyway.

Today my mission is to get my clean out my car, take it to a quickie car wash thingy at a gas station, and get some new shoes. I think those are the two big things. I still need to go to Artopia and get that piece I made way back with Michele, I hope they haven’t tossed it yet.

In other news…Brian hasn’t called since Wednesday. He made it seem like he’d call me again before Sunday but I guess I was wrong about that. He’s a total lost cause. If he calls me tomorrow I’ll be sooo surprised. And then there’s Gabe. He’s an anomaly. I talked to him online yesterday, but not for very long and not about a whole lot. If anything happens with him it’ll be purely of his own doing ’cause I can’t get anything out of him without asking for it myself and I’m not doing that.