My stomach is killing me. I’ve taken Motrin and it still fucking hurts. This is ridiculous.

Ok, this will sound really weird but I have to talk about it. My boss makes these annoying moaning type noises when she talks to people. You know how in a conversation when someone says something say and you go “ohh” like in sympathy, usually you follow it up with a “oooh, that sucks” well, when she does the “ooh” part its a moan and she does at other times in the conversation. Even when its not something sad and she’s talking to someone she just sounds like she’s having phone sex with them or she’s flirting with them. It’s annoying.

My mom’s cousin died today. I wasn’t close to her or anything so I feel really removed from it, but at the same time it makes me feel incredibly sad. I just feel so sad for her, obviously because she died but more so because her life wasn’t all that it could of been. She never marrried or had kids. I dunno if she wanted all of that but I know that it wasn’t something that she definitely didn’t want. Everything has been so sudden, it was only a few weeks ago that we found out that she had cancerous tumors on her lungs that spread to various areas, just getting worse. I have to stop writing about this. I just came back from the bathroom where I cried and now my eyes are all red. I haven’t told anyone about this. I won’t unless I have to miss work or whatever. They don’t need to know. Plus my boss has been kinda witchy lately, er annoying. I dunno. Whatever. She can kiss my ass.

So after having yet another tearful crying session with my mom about my life and the direction I want it to take I did several things. Well first I should say the whole crying thing was on my part, because when I get to these points when I feel like I can’t take it anymore I feel like my life is crashing down on me and that I’m no where near where I want to be, I just have to talk to my mom in the hopes that it’ll help and basically I just have to have my cry out.

Ok, that was a serious run on sentence right there. Anyway. My mom did the usual “go back to college” song and dance. I wish she would stop ’cause it’s so not going to happen. I’m determined to get what I want without that damn degree. But she did say something good. She said that I haven’t really searched out all the possibilties and really talked to someone who’s doing what I want to do and asked them how I could get into it. So to pick up where I started this entry at, after I had my cry and we talked I went to Barnes & Noble, got a bunch of business magazines (to re-engergize) a new “chik lit” book (to zone out) and a book on CD by Dr. Deepak Chopra about “coincidences” and how to listen to them (to help me relax). Then I went to the Vitamin Shoppe (as I like say “vitamin shoppeeeeeeeeeee”) and got some Echincea ’cause I felt like I was getting sick, and then over to the new Jamba Juice for my first ever Jamba Powerboost, which was a total boost and pretty yummy. Now if only they had a drive thru like Starbucks.

Anyway… after I did all that I came back home and went on Craigslist and wrote this ad for the Los Angeles resumes section.

Shallow, Superficial Super Personal Assistant Available
——————————————————————————–
Reply to: valli_krd@yahoo.com
Date: Sat Jan 24th 05:04

I’m not actually shallow or superficial but I thought that might get a laugh.

At any rate, I am a smart young woman with tons of admin work experience in varied fields. Unfortunately for me the one field that I haven’t delved into has been the entertainment industry, and wouldn’t you know it that’s the one place I want to be the most.

Aside from the administrative work experience that I’ve had, I’ve also worked with local bands, producing shows. My work can be viewed at www.playgroundpresents.com

What my work with The Playground proves is that I know how to organize - people, places & things. And I know how to do it well and without pissing off cops. (in case you require that type of thing, I don’t know, maybe you do) Seriously, I live to organize, to make things run better, faster and more efficiently. Couldn’t we all use a little of that in our lives?

One of the bands that I’ve worked with (and continue to) has gone on to be signed by Columbia Records, they’re called Fingertight (and they’re an awesome band btw)

At work, I’m always the person people ask for help when they don’t know how to spell a word, or how to use a particular computer program. I possess intelligence, a sense of humor, perfectionist tendencies and a strong dose of common sense.

I currently live in Northern California but am willing and able to move to Los Angeles for the right position. I’m not going to lie and beat around the bush, you don’t have the time to waste and neither do I. This is my life and I want to be happy and have as much fun as possible. What this means is that I want to have a job that I love, within an industry that I love. What this also means is that I’m not going to fool around and not do a great job. I want to do a phenomenal job and help people.

You want someone you can trust and communicate with and feel like you’re getting your ideas across. Did I mention that I’m an incredible communicator? That’s mostly because I get what you’re trying to do, I get that you don’t want to have to tell someone something over and over again. I get that you want to save time.

So if you’re looking for someone to be your right hand, your gal friday, then send me an email (valli_krd@yahoo.com) and I’ll send you the official version of my resume.

If you’re not interested in hiring me (why not??) I am interested in meeting people who are either in this kind of position already or are trying to hire someone, and talking to them about how to get into this kind of work.

——-the end———

I love what I wrote. It’s pretty funny if I do say so myself. I’ve had one response so far from someone who wanted a picture and my resume. Weird. I didn’t give either of course. I wrote ‘em back and asked him what they wanted them for, you know in consideration for what?? I’m going to delete it and post it again on monday when people are back at work or whatever lookin’ for fabulous peeps like me.

Can I just say here and now that I don’t like the version of the song “why don’t you and I” by Santana with Alex Band from The Calling? I hate his vocals on it and I much prefer Chad Kroeger’s.. they’re sooo much better…

That’s pretty much all that I wanted to say.. Oh and that I had a fantabulous dream about Dale Earnhardt Jr. the other night. Okay, it wasn’t the greatest actually. It started crappy and ended crappy but the middle was good. So I’m this place, I don’t know where really for sure, I don’t think it was a race but maybe. Anyway he was there and there were all these blonde, stick figure girls around and around him and I was of course “ew gag me”. So I thought all hope was lost of him ever wanting to get with me, then somehow we come together and he’s totally into me and we’re making out and it’s great. Then at the end I’m like “You’re just so intoxicating” (I told my mom I said that she’s like “what did he say? ‘that’s the cheesiest line I’ve ever heard’, my mom’s a nut) to which he didn’t say anything but then something happened to where I wasn’t who he thought I was like physically, and he had to go ’cause he was supposed to be with one of the blonde stick figures. So I was like fucking A! Strangely enough I’m not and was not (in the dream) mad about it. I was sad but I felt like he could come back or that he would come back. Weirdness. I was just happy that I finally have a dream where I kiss Dale Jr.

I’m out now because there’s this documentary/show thingy coming on about Nascar and Dale Jr that VH1 did, hehe.. I’m tivo’ing it and then it’s Golden Globe time! woo-hoo!

So we’re in the new year…. big whoop.

I think I have some things to update you on. Lets see… I got a promotion at work. I am now the Sales Representative for the Fresh Department. All of the sales people I pretty much work under are called Sales Managers. I now have to deal with Fresh Cut or as I like to call it “Fresh-Crap”… It’s such a mega pain in the ass. As a result of this new promotion I got more money, which is always a good thing. It totally ups my stock when I go out and look for another job. I am now also Exempt. Which is good and bad. Good because it doesn’t matter when I come in or when I go home and I don’t have to fill out a time sheet anymore, but it’s bad because I don’t get overtime. But I do get comp time so I can get extra days off…

In other good news my old boss finally left. Woo-Hoo! We are now free of his dopeyness. Although they made one of the sales people, the only one that’s in this office, my supervisor, which is lame because she’s kinda lame sometimes.

Jonathan is thinking about moving to Los Angeles for a change of scenery in the next 6 to 12 months. We’ll see if that happens. I hope he does it though. Not because I want him to go away but because I want him to be happier. He’s been kinda down lately… He’s burned out on his job, and you would be too if you heard all the stories he tells about these poor children. It’s so sad. I know I couldn’t deal with all the sadness and frustration everyday.

Todd came up here to see Lord of The Rings with me the first weekend it came out. It was fun and interesting. I took him to Lyons finally. He’s doing well. He’s putting my promotion in The Packer. I didn’t ask him to do that, it was his idea. I only like the idea because it might help me to get a job elsewhere.

The whole job thing is weird. I don’t want to leave Maui purely because I hate changing jobs and starting over somewhere new. Plus I like some of the people here, so it’s not a completely annoying situation. However, I have given myself a deadline of 2 years to get the hell out of this place and start my own business. The official date is January 15, 2005. I’ll only be 24 by then. That sounds so old… ech… so hopefully even before then, but lets not get too ambitious.

I bought Dale Earnhardt Jr’s book. Its not a book about his whole life. It’s about his rookie season in NASCAR. It totally confirmed everything I thought about him and made me like him even more. If that’s even possible. I also bought his calendar which is now proudly displayed in my cube at work.

FT got picked up on Streetwise and I’m on their street team of course. It’s totally surreal. I just know I’m going to start crying when I see their video on TV or something. Or when I see their cd in the stores… or when I hear their songs on the radio…I’m going to be a blubbering fool…

I got new glasses. They’re super spiffy. One day I want to get some professional photos taken. I’ve always wanted to do that with my mom and my sister and one day we will finally do it. I’m getting my hair done today and I cannot wait. I will finally feel completely normal again. I also want to get my ears pierced today too. There are a lot of really cute earrrings out there.

what else, what else… My mom did buy that Lexus that she’s been dreaming about for awhile now. It is sooooooooooooo cool…. I think it’s called the SC430? Something like that… it’s their most expensive car… it has a navigation system and everything… I would kill for a navigation system. Well maybe not kill, but definitely mame. I would mame someone for a navigtion system.

So I have this fortune cookie fortune stuck to my computer that says ‘Don’t give up. The best is yet to come.’ Exactly. :

I went xmas shopping this past weekend. Friday, Saturday and Sunday. Insane.

The only good thing is that I got presents for everyone on my list. So it’s all done and I don’t have to think about it anymore. Except for the chicas in the my cubicle room, I’m baking them their fave cookies and putting them in some kind of tin or box which I have yet to buy. I think I’m going to go by Cost Plus or Pier One and see if they have any cool stuff like that. Oh and I wrapped everything too.

I’m looking forward to seeing the cookies! I miss them sooo much. And my sister and David. It’ll be fun. They’ll finally get to see my car. My mom might buy a new car for herself on Friday, it’s a spiffy Lexus. So if she gets it then she might drive her car down to L.A. too Which would be good ’cause then I won’t have to worry about her worrying about my driving.

I’m going now…