I have been looking around for this skit from The State, a short lived comedy sketch show that was on MTV back in the 90s or so, and thanks to the great people at BestWeekEver.tv I’ve finally got clip of it!

The characters are Barry & Levon and they love to put their butts in pudding. It sounds silly but it’s hilarious. I love it!

Pamela Anderson is getting her own reality TV show on the E! network. That’s just great. Where the hell is my reality show?

My life is far more interesting than anything she can shove out there. How about the story of a 27-year-old single girl living with her mother and working for a company that makes her want to kick someone’s ass on a daily basis? How about following someone with real issues like, what am I going to do with the rest of my life? How am I going to finally be successful? When am I going to move out again (for the last time!)? Will I find a proper guy to date and then eventually marry? And how am I going to find that guy? There are fifty million places I could look, but where do I start? If anything my story is just beginning, it’s a blank slate.

Who cares about Pamela and her fake tits and even faker attempts at trying to “juggle love, career and peace of mind?” Seriously, I want to know. Her story has already been told, I don’t need to watch a show to find out what happens next. Her story is done. If the show was about her seriously going to college and getting a degree in botany or doing something completely different than what she’s done before then that’s something I could get into, but since it’s the same crap I could read about in any gossip rag, I’m over it.

The thing these production companies need to think about is are they really telling us something we don’t know? Because if the answer is “No” then they need to go back to the drawing board.

(sidenote: the titles of my blog posts sometimes have nothing to do with the post at all, sometimes they’re just titles of songs or CDs or just a lyric)

Today would have been Mister Rogers 80th birthday. Mister Rogers was the host of the daytime kids show “Mister Rogers’ Neighborhood” that I watched as a child in the 80s. They still show it on PBS to this day. It’s funny that I never realized how much I loved that show until I grew up. I connected with it because of the use of make believe and his message that I’m special. Even though I knew he was telling everybody that I still felt that he really meant it, he meant it for all of us.

If I happen to catch the show these days I’ll still watch it, but now I’ll tear up a little. There is a ton of a programming on TV these days for kids but none of them seem to be as sincere as Mister Rogers’ Neighborhood. Forget about that annoying purple dinosaur with those freakishly happy kids. I don’t buy that for a minute. The messages in those shows aren’t going to stick with you for a lifetime.

And so today is “Won’t You Wear a Sweater” Day:

To celebrate what would have been the 80th birthday of Fred Rogers, better known as TV’s “Mister Rogers,” friends of Mr. Rogers, including David Newell (a.k.a. Mr. McFeely), have declared this Thursday “Sweater Day.” Applebee’s is joining in by asking all its guests and associates to wear a cardigan sweater Thursday to work, school or play.

One of my favorite songs from the show called “It’s You I Like” by Fred M. Rogers:

It’s you I like,
It’s not the things you wear,
It’s not the way you do your hair–
But it’s you I like
The way you are right now,
The way down deep inside you–
Not the things that hide you,
Not your toys–
They’re just beside you.

But it’s you I like–
Every part of you,
Your skin, your eyes, your feelings
Whether old or new.
I hope that you’ll remember
Even when you’re feeling blue
That it’s you I like,
It’s you yourself,
It’s you, it’s you I like.

My last update here was 9 weeks ago. Wow, thanks LiveJournal for letting me know. So I was watching this new show on HBO called “Tell Me You Love Me.” I love that title. Anyway, it’s about three couples at various stages in their relationships. It just got me to thinking about guys. Let’s say I meet “the” guy and we’re together. For everything that you know about someone, you still don’t know them. Just like he’ll never really and truly, know all of me. It’s just the way it is. The thing that gets me though is how horrible it feels when you find out that the little you do know about someone isn’t actually true. You find out that they don’t really like you the way you thought they did.

That’s not a good feeling at all. In fact I have to say it’s the worst feeling in the world. It’s worse than the pain of cramps from my period or that kidney stone I had. And let me tell you having that kidney stone was the worst physical pain that I have ever felt in my life to date. The thing about the pain of learning someone’s true emotions is that it’s a three-prong assault. It’s physical, mental and emotional. It gets you everywhere, ‘causing you to question everything.

I don’t like questioning myself. Especially when I think that I’ve been very clear about something.

It’s amazing how much you learn and change as you grow up. I’m not the same person that I was when I was 21. I have more confidence and in some ways less tolerance.  I can’t stand crazy drivers or people that can’t read signs, or people that don’t wear deodorant.  I think that it’s at this point in my life that there’s only a finite amount of time that I have on this earth and I really don’t want to waste any more of it.

And we all know what that means. That means that I don’t want to waste it doing something that I don’t love. As a result of growing older, more confident in my skin and becoming less tolerant that means that I’m tired of just dreaming. I’m going to start making things happen, those wild crazy dreams I’m going to make them happen.

I owe it to myself first and foremost. But I also owe it to all of the people that care about me. I owe it to them to do all the things that they think I’m probably crazy for doing.

I love this, I love writing like this. Just being completely honest about everything that I’m feeling and thinking. Next year I am going to be able to do this type of writing and my other type of writing in just one place. I am so excited at the thought of it.

So I got the new Mandy Moore CD this week, Tuesday the day it came out to be exact, and I loooooove it. Looove it! She sounds kinda pissed and jilted on this CD and I’m eatin’ it up like that skinny asian guy in those food eating competitions.

There are a bunch of good songs with just totally right on lyrics. For example the song “Nothing That You Are,” it has lyrics, great melody and I am in love with the drums. Another song called “Latest Mistake” is yet another song that resonates with me for a reason that I won’t go into here. Other goodies are: All Good Things, Wild Hope and Gardenia.

Here’s my latest thing about guys. All I want is one guy for the rest of my life that will love me as much as I love him. It’s that simple. I was watching Kathy Griffin’s Bravo reality show “My Life on the D-List” and it covered her father’s death. He was 90! I think it’s awesome he lived that long. Anyway, he and his wife were together for over 30 years. That’s so great, and when Kathy asked him what the secret was to their marriage, he said that you just had to find someone who thought was just neatest thing and they had to feel the same way about you. I’m totally paraphrasing but it came out to be something like that.

I feel like I’m holding myself back from being myself. I’ve noticed this since being in this new job. The first week I was ok ’cause I was thinking this place could be just like things were at ANG, I just have to get through meeting everyone and learning the ropes. Well it hasn’t been quite that easy. The difference with ANG was that the web department was a handful of people. It was us against everybody else. Now I’m a little girl fish in a big pond of male fishies that have their own cliques. And then you factor in the fact that everything that I can do is on hold or out of my hands, and you’ve got a recipe for restlessness.

I love the money that I make, but unfortunately that’s not enough. I just wish I could be doing something that I felt content with on all fronts.

And having the fact that I don’t have a degree thrown in my face all the time is not helping to make me feel more comfortable. It’s making me long for a way out of all this. Well he did give me an out, kinda. Long story.

I don’t know what to do with myself. I was checking out a NASCAR-related article online today and my boss comes up behind me and just stares at the screen. I’m like “what’s up?” and he’s all, “oh nothing, just checking out what’s going on” something to that effect. I just want to scream! Like get away! Go find something for me to do.. jeez.

I’m frustrated and he knows it. This is all very ugly. Wow. I didn’t mean to use that word but it fits.

I want to be free, free to do whatever the fuck I want to do whenever the fuck I want to do it. And what that means is that I want to be able to wake up in the morning and get up whenever I want. I want to make my own schedule, day-to-day. I want to decide what I do next and how I do it. I was meant to be independent. Maybe I should be a blogger that’s affliated with a large company, not owned by them.

I recently read Carly Fiorina’s book “Tough Choices: A Memoir.” I highly reccommend it! It’s such a great book. It just shows you all of the retardation that exists in business. It doesn’t matter what company you work for or even if you love what you do. It’s still there, although if you love what you do then it’s easier to deal with the dillweeds.

Anywhoo.. I’m so glad that I get to not think about all of this for the next three days because I will be in La La Land for my youngest nephews birthday.