The characters are Barry & Levon and they love to put their butts in pudding. It sounds silly but it’s hilarious. I love it!

My life is far more interesting than anything she can shove out there. How about the story of a 27-year-old single girl living with her mother and working for a company that makes her want to kick someone’s ass on a daily basis? How about following someone with real issues like, what am I going to do with the rest of my life? How am I going to finally be successful? When am I going to move out again (for the last time!)? Will I find a proper guy to date and then eventually marry? And how am I going to find that guy? There are fifty million places I could look, but where do I start? If anything my story is just beginning, it’s a blank slate.

Who cares about Pamela and her fake tits and even faker attempts at trying to “juggle love, career and peace of mind?” Seriously, I want to know. Her story has already been told, I don’t need to watch a show to find out what happens next. Her story is done. If the show was about her seriously going to college and getting a degree in botany or doing something completely different than what she’s done before then that’s something I could get into, but since it’s the same crap I could read about in any gossip rag, I’m over it.

The thing these production companies need to think about is are they really telling us something we don’t know? Because if the answer is “No” then they need to go back to the drawing board.

(sidenote: the titles of my blog posts sometimes have nothing to do with the post at all, sometimes they’re just titles of songs or CDs or just a lyric)

If I happen to catch the show these days I’ll still watch it, but now I’ll tear up a little. There is a ton of a programming on TV these days for kids but none of them seem to be as sincere as Mister Rogers’ Neighborhood. Forget about that annoying purple dinosaur with those freakishly happy kids. I don’t buy that for a minute. The messages in those shows aren’t going to stick with you for a lifetime.

And so today is “Won’t You Wear a Sweater” Day:

To celebrate what would have been the 80th birthday of Fred Rogers, better known as TV’s “Mister Rogers,” friends of Mr. Rogers, including David Newell (a.k.a. Mr. McFeely), have declared this Thursday “Sweater Day.” Applebee’s is joining in by asking all its guests and associates to wear a cardigan sweater Thursday to work, school or play.

One of my favorite songs from the show called “It’s You I Like” by Fred M. Rogers:

It’s you I like,
It’s not the things you wear,
It’s not the way you do your hair–
But it’s you I like
The way you are right now,
The way down deep inside you–
Not the things that hide you,
Not your toys–
They’re just beside you.

But it’s you I like–
Every part of you,
Your skin, your eyes, your feelings
Whether old or new.
I hope that you’ll remember
Even when you’re feeling blue
That it’s you I like,
It’s you yourself,
It’s you, it’s you I like.

That’s not a good feeling at all. In fact I have to say it’s the worst feeling in the world. It’s worse than the pain of cramps from my period or that kidney stone I had. And let me tell you having that kidney stone was the worst physical pain that I have ever felt in my life to date. The thing about the pain of learning someone’s true emotions is that it’s a three-prong assault. It’s physical, mental and emotional. It gets you everywhere, ‘causing you to question everything.

I don’t like questioning myself. Especially when I think that I’ve been very clear about something.

It’s amazing how much you learn and change as you grow up. I’m not the same person that I was when I was 21. I have more confidence and in some ways less tolerance.  I can’t stand crazy drivers or people that can’t read signs, or people that don’t wear deodorant.  I think that it’s at this point in my life that there’s only a finite amount of time that I have on this earth and I really don’t want to waste any more of it.

And we all know what that means. That means that I don’t want to waste it doing something that I don’t love. As a result of growing older, more confident in my skin and becoming less tolerant that means that I’m tired of just dreaming. I’m going to start making things happen, those wild crazy dreams I’m going to make them happen.

I owe it to myself first and foremost. But I also owe it to all of the people that care about me. I owe it to them to do all the things that they think I’m probably crazy for doing.

I love this, I love writing like this. Just being completely honest about everything that I’m feeling and thinking. Next year I am going to be able to do this type of writing and my other type of writing in just one place. I am so excited at the thought of it.

There are a bunch of good songs with just totally right on lyrics. For example the song “Nothing That You Are,” it has lyrics, great melody and I am in love with the drums. Another song called “Latest Mistake” is yet another song that resonates with me for a reason that I won’t go into here. Other goodies are: All Good Things, Wild Hope and Gardenia.

Here’s my latest thing about guys. All I want is one guy for the rest of my life that will love me as much as I love him. It’s that simple. I was watching Kathy Griffin’s Bravo reality show “My Life on the D-List” and it covered her father’s death. He was 90! I think it’s awesome he lived that long. Anyway, he and his wife were together for over 30 years. That’s so great, and when Kathy asked him what the secret was to their marriage, he said that you just had to find someone who thought was just neatest thing and they had to feel the same way about you. I’m totally paraphrasing but it came out to be something like that.

I feel like I’m holding myself back from being myself. I’ve noticed this since being in this new job. The first week I was ok ’cause I was thinking this place could be just like things were at ANG, I just have to get through meeting everyone and learning the ropes. Well it hasn’t been quite that easy. The difference with ANG was that the web department was a handful of people. It was us against everybody else. Now I’m a little girl fish in a big pond of male fishies that have their own cliques. And then you factor in the fact that everything that I can do is on hold or out of my hands, and you’ve got a recipe for restlessness.

I love the money that I make, but unfortunately that’s not enough. I just wish I could be doing something that I felt content with on all fronts.

And having the fact that I don’t have a degree thrown in my face all the time is not helping to make me feel more comfortable. It’s making me long for a way out of all this. Well he did give me an out, kinda. Long story.

I don’t know what to do with myself. I was checking out a NASCAR-related article online today and my boss comes up behind me and just stares at the screen. I’m like “what’s up?” and he’s all, “oh nothing, just checking out what’s going on” something to that effect. I just want to scream! Like get away! Go find something for me to do.. jeez.

I’m frustrated and he knows it. This is all very ugly. Wow. I didn’t mean to use that word but it fits.

I want to be free, free to do whatever the fuck I want to do whenever the fuck I want to do it. And what that means is that I want to be able to wake up in the morning and get up whenever I want. I want to make my own schedule, day-to-day. I want to decide what I do next and how I do it. I was meant to be independent. Maybe I should be a blogger that’s affliated with a large company, not owned by them.

I recently read Carly Fiorina’s book “Tough Choices: A Memoir.” I highly reccommend it! It’s such a great book. It just shows you all of the retardation that exists in business. It doesn’t matter what company you work for or even if you love what you do. It’s still there, although if you love what you do then it’s easier to deal with the dillweeds.

Anywhoo.. I’m so glad that I get to not think about all of this for the next three days because I will be in La La Land for my youngest nephews birthday.

Who knew such truths could be found by watching Laguna Beach. But ya know they do have great music on that show.

“… but you’re the storm that I believed in … ”

I should just let the nouns come to me… people, places and things. I push for something that I think that I want and then I realize that I don’t really want it once I get it. But it’s not that I don’t want it at all, I just don’t want it the way that it’s being given to me. I know that won’t make sense to anyone but it makes a lot of sense to me. That’s all that matters really. I write this blog for myself, not for you.

These are the things that I need to do this weekend:
1.) wash my hair 2.) vacuum the floors

It’s 9:23 on Saturday night and have I done either of those things? Mmm, nope. I’m tempted to do the hair thing right now, because tomorrow is NASCAR in the morning and then my usual nap. I’m usually sluggish after that. But oh well it’ll have to wait until then. I’m too tired.

Tommy Lee is like 44 years old (dayam!) and I still find him hot. I have no idea why. He never looks completely clean to me. I think it’s all those tattoos. But regardless of all that I still want to jump his bones and have ten thousand of his babies.

Once you get past the whole sex tape with Pam and his infamous schlong, he seems like a pretty nice, amiable guy. He seems like he’s finally grown up. He loves his kids to death and according to him he’s the more strict parent.

So, whatever, I think he’s cute. Especially during that one moment on Rockstar: Supernova when he was talking to Storm Large and he said he wanted to see more. of her. She said “Tommy” and then he said “What-y”… Yes, I’m a freak, but I thought he was so adorable when he said “What-y”

Yea, yea, yea… I need to get laid. haha…

I’m looking forward to tonight. I’m going to rent The Incredibles and maybe something else, but definitely The Incredibles. I haven’t seen that damn movie yet and I can’t wait to watch it. I just found out that Jason Lee is one of the voices. He’s so awesome. I loved him in Almost Famous, he totally played that rock dude character so well.

So here I am at work, trying to look like I actually have work to do. I’m waiting for the CEO to get around to reviewing a presentation that I have to make 15 copies of and then hole-punch and then bind together with a bunch of other stuff, AND THEN FedEx it so that i’ll arrive tomorrow. Retards. He’s had all freaking day! I think I have till 6:30 to get it out today, but I can always bring it to FedEx tomorrow and it’ll get there on Monday. The meeting isn’t until the evening anyway. Whatever. I hate last minute shit. Especially when we’ve known about this damn meeting since last week. What-ever!

My fave show has always been Bridezillas and now, luckily, they have new episodes! The first one I saw had this 19 year old girl who got engaged to this guy on their 4th date! Insanity. Then she planned the wedding in 3 weeks. I think the reception was in a high school gymnasium. I’m still not sure why they had to plan the wedding so fast, but I think it’s because he’s in the Navy. His parents hadn’t even met her until the rehearsal dinner.

Then literally right before the wedding was to start she totally freaked out and brokedown crying, saying that she couldn’t do it, she was scared. “no i can’t, no i can’t, yes I can, no i can’t” Then her father comes in and goes “its no big deal” and they finally get her to walk down the aisle, but not without her hesitating at the beginning and crying. That was funny. I was just thinking about what her future children will think when they see that video tape. “yep kids I was really excited about marrying your father!” As Oprah says (and I happen to agree with her on this) “doubt means don’t”

I can’t wait to go home. I totally need to go to the grocery store and get some provisions. Oh! This weekend is NASCAR at Infineon! I should totally buy a ticket and just go! I think I might just do that. It’d be beyond awesome to finally meet Dale Jr. or at least just see him in person. I’m off to check out tickets!

That bit it, big time.

In other news.. I’m still trudging along the job search path. I had a good interview last week and I hope that they call me back for a second interview. If they don’t I guess that’s a big “oh well” and just move on. I’m really trying to enjoy my job that I have now so that I’ll find a job that I’ll enjoy even more. It’s hard. I’m constantly making postive statements about the job that I currently have, in my head to myself.

I don’t want to be considered a negative person, and I don’t want to hinder myself from doing things that I want to do because I’m being negative. Obviously I still want to be realistic, but I feel like for the most part I am but I’m also hopeful and optimistic about things in general.

I really want to plan a big show but I’m not sure where to do it. Maybe I should do it at PHill Comm. Ctr again but still try to make it big with sponsors and stuff. I dunno, but I need to do something ’cause I’m bored out of my mind.

I need to get my blood drawn tomorrow, so the results will be ready for my 6 month check up with my surgeon on friday. I hope all my levels are good, why can’t they make a chewable tablet that just has everything you need in it? I know I haven’t been taking my calcium thingys, I’m supposed to eat like 5 of ‘em in a day and so far I’ve averaged like one a week. They’re not the tastiest things in the world, but I don’t want my bones to break. ugh.

Christmas sucks ass when it comes to shopping. Yesterday I tried to go to Target to get wrapping paper. No parking spaces. People acting psycho. I just went home and said I’d do it tomorrow. I go today and it’s the same thing, I think it might of been worse. So I’m just going to go to the Target in Walnut Creek tomorrow at lunch, er at least that’s the plan in my head right now.

Ya know what show is totally underrated? America’s Funniest Home Videos! It’s friggin hilarious. I laugh everytime I watch it which isn’t something I can say about I dunno, some shows who’s names I can’t think of right now.

The weekend is way too short.