My damn car isn’t fixed yet. I have no clue what I’m going to do or how I’m going to get to work on Monday. This is so frustrating! I can’t wait to get my car back so I can move on. I hate feeling stuck. I hate not having my car.

I’m supposed to go out with Jonathan tonight. I am going to go, it’s just that I hate the fact that I hafta drive home first and then come back out here. My mom is turning in her rental car and I hafta pick her up from the rental place… sucks.. UGH! I hate this…

I totally hate all of this…. It would be better if I had my own damn rental car, then I wouldn’t be dependent on her… I could go wherever I wanted….I hate not being free…fuck.. I wish I was 21, if I was 21 I wouldn’t have this damn problem.

I’m so mad my work didn’t last me till 5 today… now I hafta do crap for another two hours. totally sucks.

Okay, so I’m talking to Jonathan right now on the phone and my intuition was right! He did go and meet a woman last night. I’m the bomb, I know, I know. She wasn’t exactly what he was looking for, she had brains and stuff but she’s like ten years older than him.

Anyway I just wanted to state that I was right and that’s basically it.

Yesterday was Survivor Wednesday. Next week they’re going back to Thursdays. Although I like Wednesdays better because it comes faster..but oh well I don’t run the network. Survivor is the one and only reason I’ll ever watch CBS. I’m an NBC loyalist actually….and lately I’ve really been into Fox. I love That 70’s Show. It’s always funny. Oh and that new show Grounded for Life is pretty cool too.

Yesterday was also a day that I didn’t get to talk to Jonathan. I called him twice but I didn’t leave a message. I didn’t want him to know that I called. I think I went to bed at like 8:30 which is the earliest I think I’ve ever gone to bed. I wondered what he was doing, if he went out and met that girl again or if he met someone new. He could of been doing anything really. I’m such a nutty, nutty girl.

I’m totally lost and I have nowhere to go. Reading through some old poetry of mine I started to see a pattern. The Pattern: Me liking guys that only liked me just as friends. You can’t stop your feelings right? So how do I keep myself from falling for guys that won’t fall for me? I guess I can’t. It’s only 8:30am and I’m already wishing lunch would hurry up and happen.

I know a reason why I feel so crappy…I’m friggin poor! I have no damn money.,.. I hafta pay for my car and that’s going to wipe me out till the show… friggin sucks…

Well, today I got my new business cards. It’s the first time I’ve ever had business cards from my place of business. So I suppose it’s a small milestone. I’ve been here for about 3 months so far..and it doesn’t even feel like it, so I think I’m going to be here for a while. Hopefully this will be my last job change before I make the move into The Playground :). Lets all hope and pray for that okay?

I found out how much it’s going to cost to get my car fixed. 600 bucks so far. It could be more if they find anything else. That’s just what I need…But oh well. I’m hoping I’ll make some good money from this upcoming show, so I hope that’ll help.

oops…gotta go…

I wonder if anyone besides Jamie reads this thing.

I got my hair done yesterday and it looks fabulous! I spent most of last night looking at myself in the bathroom mirror…I got my highlights again and it looks fabulous. My hairdresser didn’t curl my hair tightly so it’s just straight. I LOVE it! I feel so good when my hair is done. It’s the best feeling.

After I got my hair done I went out to my car and it wouldn’t start. So I called Jamie and she graciously picked me up. I had the car towed this morning to my mechanic. They’re probably not going to be able to look at it today, I was supposed to bring it there on Tuesday. So now I’m driving my mom’s car. It’s a big ass car, a Chrysler LHS. It’s a boat and the damn CD player doesn’t work…but luckily my stereo at work is portable so I’m bringing that sucker with me. I’ll be able to play my CD’s!!

I came up with a really great name for a band, Pest Heads! I love that name. It’s cool. I was telling Kirk it reminds me of PEZ. He’s trying to find a picture of PEZ so he can manipulate it.

Tonight I’m going out with Jonathan. I have no idea what we’re going to do. I’m dying of hunger so I’m sure dinner will be included in there somewhere. Jonathan has no money so I’ll be paying. It’s perfectly okay. He paid for Pizza and Movies the last time we did that so technically it’s my turn. Plus I want to cheer him up a bit. He’s been down in the dumps about his money situation and his job prospects. I hope he can get something soon.

Okay…it’s taken me basically the whole day to write this thing and get it posted. Maybe I should do that from now on…just keep adding things as the day goes on then post it at the end of the day. Eh… I don’t know.

Everybody has basically left for today… there are a couple people still here. Fridays have a tinge of suckiness to them because I hafta stay until exactly 5 o clock, ’cause I’m covering the phones. It’s no biggy. I’m pretty happy… although I don’t think my paycheck has been processed yet… and I think it’s supposed to go in tonight…who knows…

I talked to Kirk about going into business together again. I want to do a clothing company with him. He’s a kick ass graphic artist….he’s everything I’m not in terms of illustration and artistic ability. Every time I’ve come up with some name or something he goes and makes some graphic that totally embodies the name…it’s great… So I told him we hafta do this… so he’s going to come up with some ideas and then I’ll get started on the business side of things. I think it would be a really good partnership.. it’d be awesome… he’s the one thing that I needed in order to get a real clothing company going.

I want a new car! well, a new-ER car… I’m totally in love with Jetta’s and Passats.. not so much the new beetles anymore…. If I got a Passat I’d hafta get a 2000 or 2001 in order to get the kind I want…. and I could get a new Jetta…’cause the base of those are in my price range….. I can’t think of any other type of car that I like…. oh… actually I saw a commercial for Kia’s and those are kinda cool looking… gah! it’s only 4:47! When will this madness end?

I wanna go to the movies and see an Oscar nominated flick. I hate watching the Oscars and not have seen the majority of the movies nominated. Then I really give my judgment of the winners…ya know? Last year I was sooooooooooo happy that American Beauty won.. I love that movie to death!

hmm… I’m going to go now… I’m going to the Kia web site.