star mile

by Valli

I’m in a bit of a pickle, but I need to relax and let fate and destiny do their thing.

Over the weekend I wrote up my idea for what I’m tentatively calling “My NASCAR Year.” I registered it with the Writer’s Guild of America, West and then this morning I signed the NASCAR submission release form and fedex’d it all to the NASCAR Digital Entertainment people.

They should get it tomorrow afternoon. Hopefully the peeps over at NASCAR Dig. Ent. will be in their offices waiting with baited breath for my proposal.

If they don’t bite then I’m totally out of luck with this endeavor. This really scares me because at this moment in my life there’s nothing that I want more than to make this thing happen. I need to be out in the world, exploring, writing and talking to people. I need to do this now more than ever. It just means so much to me and I want to be positive and think positively that they’ll see the good in this idea. They have to see the unique perspective that I could bring to this documentary. It’s a total win-win situation.

I’m just not sure what to do with myself now that I must wait for them to receive the file, read it and then contact me. I’ve tried to think about what I would do if they didn’t pick up this idea and approve it, but I don’t want to. I’m so focused on them getting it and understanding it and liking it that I can’t bare to think what I would do if they don’t.

I’d still have this job, this job that just doesn’t seem to be working for me, at least in my head. I love the money I make of course, but there’s more to life than money. I haven’t clicked with people and maybe that’s partly my fault, but I know that I’ve gotten the cold shoulder. There isn’t the team warm and fuzzies like their were with Patrick and Kevin at ANG. I miss that. I guess I’d have to think of a business idea that I could save up for and then start with a small amount of money. I better go home now.

Just stay positive. Visualize success. Smile.